people who think they are going crazy are not going crazy.

So i know I am not crazy when I wake up at 2am and go eat toast. with jam. eat something, like a handful of cereal. why??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I do not want the food, i definitely do not NEED the calories, and I feel orrible in the morning with guilt and shame and it's totally sabotaging all the work I do in the gym and during the day. I say no no no to carbs after 4, feel guilty for eating fruit after 4. Haven't had carrots in ages, seem to swing from super healthy to binging on fucking prunes. I am losing the plot. and i don't like how i look, i have put on 2 INCHES around my waist WTF??????

I'm struggling for the positives here. help.