bbc is full of interesting facts

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7530345.stm


interesting.

even when i try to separate from the old, it is always there

Today I ran a 10k in 46:15! that is 3:47 faster than my time in may! I've just begun this journal, as a way to documant i suppose my life after losing the weight.... i'm so close to the goals I can taste them, and in many ways I have made it to where I want to be.... I have a good job and a good flat and amazing friends.... I am actually dating people... I don't know if I will write a post eventually about me and the last 2 years and 3 months of my life. I feel separated from my former self, no longer connected with the girl who was funny and happy on the outside but loathed herself so much it took finding my best friends at uni for me to even contemplate going out.

I still deal with the issue of self worth and whether i deserve to be happy/successful/loved. I worked so hard to get here and work everyday to stay here.....

Trying to accept the person I am now is hard work, and that is why i get all freaked out when my friends voice their opinions on my weight loss. Last week my mate K said he was concerned....

concerned about what? I am not a stick, i am the healthiest i have ever been and challenge myself. i want to be a certain size, for myself. that takes work and discipline and if that means not drinking or eating certain foods as much as i would like to (chocolate) well I do that. i am not sick, i am not crazy, i am not going too far. i have people in my life whose job it is to tell me if i become obsessed and pull me back. my pt has had to stop me from spending 2 hours at the gym because i was actually driving myself insane.

random

I meant to start writing here, but uhhhhhh, my livejournal is just more comfortable still.

Wanting the separate from it as it is all tied up with the crazy thoughts on losing weight and being close to goal and all the neurotic shite.

Everyone must feel like they are going out of their minds sometimes.... right?

briefly:
I have a cold, yuck
Running a 10k tomorrow, not feeling my best!
date tomorrow evening. can he please suggest we do something? I don't want to.... but I also don't want to just stay in, even though i think my body craves bed
going home in a week, wanted to be 11stone even.... that might not happen if i can't work out. but if i go on a soup diet, it might as i feel thirsty all the time right now.

generally just run down.