I keep meaning to blog, but there is always a reason why I don't. This is a symptom in my life in general at the moment. I SHOULD have finished applying to university, but haven't. I SHOULD start looking for a job back in Boston. I SHOULD budget better.

And I've been waiting for months to get a councelor, and now that I have an appointment, i'm thinking do i need one? I just want to talk to someone about everything, and while I feel better, I'm still not dealing with anything.

And I'm screwing with my lifestyle (keeping the same 7 pounds on from december!) so I can focus on that and my 'bad' food choices instead of what is really bothering me. I started this blog to help me with this, at least if I tell the internet it's no longer a secret. the oat biscuits I ate, the slightly larger portion of cereal this morning, the fact that I have semi skimmed milk instead of skimmed..... all these things i obsess over to avoid the looming issues.

I'm moving back to America. I need to finish my degree. My mother has gone ahead with the weight loss surgery. My family is growing up and apart and I feel totally disconnected. and my granmother has just been diagnosed with cancer. 2 types. the grandpa can't be left alone, so my mother is going to move in with them...... what?????? She hates my grandmother. and is never around. am i allowed to have an opinion? This could be so bad. SO bad. my mother can't clean our house, is she going to do it at theirs? Really???? Really? I want to talk to my aunt but they are still in bed! Damn you time difference.

I'm just putting it up.